Our Passion Of Lives » Motivation Talks

For the people going through rough patches…

choutofu — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 08:56:02 +0000

I read this section of The Zahir by Paulo Coelho and its something I would like to share because its something that you can draw strength upon if your in a current rough patch now and blame the world for how it could still move on and be so beautiful when your in so much pain.

“God knows we are all artists of life. One day, He gives us a hammer with which to make sculptures, another He gives brushes and paints with which to make a picture or a paper and pencil to write with. But you cannot make a painting with a hammer, or a sculpture with a paintbrush. Therefore, however difficult it may be, I must accept today’s small blessings even if they seem like curses because I’m suffering and its a beautiful day, the sun is shining and the children are singing on the street. This is the only way I will manage to leave my pain behind and rebuild my life.” -The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

I read in Paulo Coelho’s books that a certain tribe of people always describe the sky as being the colour blue. Because even when the clouds are grey and it is raining, behind the clouds is still the sky in that devastatingly beautiful shade of blue.

This is very much like life. Even though, you may be in a certain kind of rough patch, and all you can see is that of darkness and you simply see no light. But you must remember to see past it all.

For what lies behind the darkness and what lies behind your pain and your problems, is the beautiful life that you have created thus far. What lies behind is the happiness and moments of joy that you have experienced. And your life, through all the rough patches and the pain, will always be described as being devastatingly beautiful, just like that of the blue blue sky.

To be a pencil or a pen

choutofu — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:23:23 +0000

I haven’t posted one of those really thoughtful entries recently simply because I haven’t been thoughtful. HAHA. I’ve been thinking about exams in general and all the psychopathic thoughts that can only be associated with the stressfulness of exams.

However, my friend asked me this question one day and it evoked a thinking process, a short one, but I’ll share it anyway.

She asked me, “If you had a choice, would you be a pencil or a pen?”

It turned out that if you chose pencil you’re an adaptable person and if you choose pen your not. So it was one of those lame sms things that she was reading and I didn’t think too much about it till I was at home. And heres what my answer to the question is…

I would like to be a pencil when handling my enemies. For I may hurt them with my words that leave marks upon them but they can be easily erased with an eraser and not be etched into their memories forever. And my comments would simply leave no trace.

I would like to be a pen when I’m creating fond memories with my friends and my loved ones. They say memories are like footprints in a sand, easily washed away by the tides of time. Thats why I want to be a pen, so that these precious memories would leave indelible marks on them and be ingrained in their minds forever. Just like an engraving on a rock, that cannot be corroded with time. Just like how when you try to erase the marks of a pen with liquid paper or correction tape but how the mark still remains.

Perhaps some would call me selfish, wanting to leave a trace of me behind in my friends memories, in the memories of my loved ones. Buts thats how I would like to live my life. I would like to leave traces of me in places where I’ve done well and sweep away stuff that I may have done or said to cause hurt.

Many have heard the story of a simple pencil, how a pencil thats crafted so simply could mean so many things. How many have heard of how great a pen is as well?

Unfortunately, you can never take back the wrong things you say. For the words you speak are like swords which you wield. Sometimes its hard to take back what you’ve said. Sometimes its impossible. So be a pencil with those you detest, for even though they may have hurt you, its never wise to leave a permanent scar on others.

Besides, I’m sure you wish to leave only fond memories in others and never hated ones. As how people only want to be remembered fondly.

What I’m simply trying to say is…

“Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you.” -George Bernard Shaw

Because if you hate it, other people probably do too.

P/S: OMIGOSH!! MY INTERVIEW IS LIKE TOMORROW! SAVE ME PPL!!!! I’m going into total freak out mode. gosh.

Why we have adversity?

choutofu — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 08:38:47 +0000

Ok, I know I just posted like yesterday about overcoming adversity but i just read another story on the net! And since its related to adversity again, I’ll just write it here. Like a mini add on to my story yesterday!

OK….

Have you ever seen a butterfly emerging out of its cocoon? (If you haven’t like me, you can go to Youtube or other video sites to see!)

Anyway, a man saw a butterfly coming out of its cocoon. He sat and watched it for hours, struggling so very hard to get out of the cocoon. Then the butterfly stopped trying, it seemed to have stopped moving, and the man thought that the butterfly would be stuck forever in the cocoon.

So the man in his kindness, decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the last bit of cocoon. The butterfly then slowly but surely emerged from the cocoon. But unlike other butterflies, it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings.

The man expected the butterfly to soon strech its wings like the other butterflies and take flight. He expected it’s wings to expand and support the body of the butterfly.

However, even after observing the buttefly for days, for weeks, for months and even for years, NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! and the butterfly remained in the state that it was, with a swollen body and small shriveled wings. It could never take flight like the other butterflies. For all of its life.

Because what the man in all of his kindness and anxiety to save the butterfly did not realise, was that the butterfly needed to face this adversity alone.

The butterfly needed to get through the tiny opening of the cocoon. This would force the fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings and would allow it to stretch its wings and fly freely in the sky like the other butterflies.

But because the butterfly didn’t face its adversity, it was never able to fly.

So sometimes you question, why does this happen to me? Why of all the people in the world, do I have to face this adversity? When others don’t have to?

The reason is simple, if you go through life smoothly, without a single adversity, then you would be crippled like the butterfly.

You wouldn’t be half of who you are today.
You wouldn’t be as strong.
You wouldn’t be able to fly.
You wouldn’t be able to soar.
You wouldn’t be able to be who you can be.
You simply wouldn’t be the best of who you really are.

And without adversity, we would never be able to reach the sky. We would just reach the limit predetermined for us and never over that.

So to reach the sky, to reach who we can be, we have to face adversity. We have to have adversity.

Do not question it, just face it.

And at the end of it, you would have taken away something from it.

A lesson, a skill, a friend, things that in time to come would matter to you too.

You wouldn’t have been crippled from the adversity, you would have gained.

and that is why we have adversity. (:

So don’t give up. even if the road is dark and filled with obstacles. for like walking on a dark path, there will be periods of light. and even when its night, the sun would eventually rise again.

When facing adversity…

choutofu — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:27:50 +0000

Adversity: an adverse or unfortunate event or circumstance

Everyone faces it once in awhile, more for some, less for others. The adversity of losing a something you care about, the adversity of losing someone you care about, the adversity of many things, but mostly it includes loss and pain.

because when you lose something, you feel like something is missing in your life.
because when you lose something, you feel like somehow life is no longer worth living.
because when you lose something, you feel like you can never move on.
it is an adversity simply because it made you lose a part of your life, a part of you.So how do we confront adversity?

The simple story about Coffee Beans tells us how we should face adversity. (:

When you feel like giving up, think about this story.

Have you ever boiled carrots, eggs and coffee beans in boiling water?

Do you notice how the carrots feel soft to the touch, almost mush like after being boiled? No longer hard and strong as before.

Do you also notice how upon peeling the shell of the egg, the inside has hardened into a hardboiled egg? No longer soft and fluid as before.

Do you then notice how the aroma of the coffee tingles your senses and becomes so fragrant? No longer as mundane as a simple coffee bean with little or not as much aroma.

All of us should be like a coffee bean when faced with adversity.

Why?

Because if you are like a carrot, then you may seem strong and unbreakable now. You may seem like you can carry everything on your shoulders. Like you could handle everything. But when faced with adversity like the boiling water, you crumble into pieces and literally turn into mush.

Because if you are like an egg, then you started out being fluid and adaptable with a heart that feels compassion and reaches out to others. But when faced with adversity, your heart becomes hardened. Even if your shell remains exactly the same as before, your heart has hardened and you’ve turn hard, bitter and stone-cold.

Because if you are like a coffee bean, you started out being rather fragrant. But when faced with adversity, you change into a better person. You, like a coffee bean, releases your aroma and fragrance and you become much better than before. You make the best out of a situation, and you become the better man/woman.

We should all be like a coffee bean. Simply because adversity shouldn’t break us, it should simply make us.

Whats the point of crying over split milk, or the loss of whats gone? For whats gone is gone and turning into a mush like the carrot and crumbling doesn’t help anyone.

Whats the point of being all bitter and cruel towards everyone in the world? For what hurt that has been inflicted has already been inflicted and cannot be taken back. Even turning yourself into a stone-cold person wouldn’t help to minimise anything.

Why not make the best of the situation? Why not turn what has hurt you, into something that can help you? Make you stronger, make you better, make you a new you with better strengths and qualities. For only by turning the bad into the good, and being optimistic, can you truly move on with your life.

So be the coffee bean, don’t be the carrot, don’t be the egg. Don’t be cold, don’t be weak. Be warm, make the best out of every single adversity that is given to you and become a better person.

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” – Oprah Winfrey

And remember that through every adversity, there is still a shining light of hope at the end of the road.

“We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.” -Author Unknown

Theres always good and bad, no all good and no all bad. So take the bad and try your best to make it as good as possible. Be the coffee bean. (:

The man and his heart

choutofu — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 11:23:59 +0000

Alright, time to update!!! I realised that the entries are now far and few in between and I ~~promise~~ will try (HAHAHA) to update as frequently as I can. Ok, today I’m going to share a story that I read in my friend’s blog. I have no idea who the original author is but its a story worth sharing so do read it and do share it. (:

This is a story about a man and his heart.

One day out in the streets, a young man proclaimed out loud to the crowds, “I have the most perfect heart in the world.”

Everyone was curious as to what exactly is the most perfect heart in the world? So they gathered around this young man and all who saw his heart agreed it was the most perfect.

For his heart had no scars, had no wounds, it was perfect. The most perfect you could find.

The young man started to feel arrogant and called to the crowds, “If anyone can show me a more perfect heart, I would pay him as much gold as he wishes and I shall go on my way.”

Everyone looked around at each other, there was no possible way anyone could beat such a perfect heart. At this very moment, an old man walked up to the young man and said, “I think my heart is much more perfect than yours.”

The young man and his audience took one look at the old man’s heart and laughed. Surely this old man was crazy to think his heart was more perfect.

For the old man’s heart was scarred, and there were crevices found around his heart and where there used to be gaps in his heart, they were now filled with other pieces but not completely filled.

The young man questioned in his haughty tone, “My sir, I don’t mean to be rude but surely you are blind with age. So blinded that you cannot see the ugliness of your own heart.”

Just as the young man was about to dismiss the old man and challenge the rest of the audience, the old man spoke.

“I’m afraid you are mistaken for I can clearly see the crevices and gaps in my hearts and it is these crevices and gaps that makes my heart more perfect than yours.”

At this point, the young man and the audience looked at the old man in bewilderment and all mummured to themselves that this old man must have gone crazy with age.

“Let me explain. Everytime I love someone, I give them a piece of my heart. Sometimes people don’t always give me back a piece, which is why there are crevices in my heart.”

“At other times, when people love me back, they give me back a piece of their heart. This fills the crevices and though its not a perfect fit, it still fills me with more strength and love then with my original heart.”

“So though my heart is scarred and worn with scars but it is definitely more perfect than yours because it shows that I have dared to love. I have dared to rip a piece of my heart out and give it to other people, not expecting anything in return,” the old man explained.

Upon hearing his story, the crowd and the young man began to weep, for they now truly understood the meaning of a perfect heart. The young man took a look at his heart and without a second thought, he ripped a piece of his heart and he gave it to the old man to fill another crevice of the old man’s heart.

From that moment on, the young man was never filled with a moment of hate nor sadness, for in his life, he has experienced love.

This story applies to us all. For when we love, it is true that we sacrifice things to love someone. We sacrifice our feelings to them, we sacrifice our time to be with them, we sacrifice our sleeping time to think of them and we sacrifice a piece of our hearts to love them. But it is often not the sacrifice, nor the ripping of the heart that is important. Painful as these sacrifices may be, it is often always the more fufilling when we receive back a piece of anothers heart.

Another part I find true in this story is that though you may give a piece of your heart to someone, it doesn’t mean that you will always get back a piece of theirs. Thats where heartaches come in. For you gave a piece of your heart to them but you never got one back.

Yet, it doesn’t mean that we stop. We shouldn’t stop because its us daring to love that makes us different and special. Its because we dare to love that our heart is that perfect, the most perfect in the world.

Remember that love is not just about taking, it is also about giving. So remember that you shouldn’t always take peoples love but you should also give love back to people. Give love to your friends by helping, give love to strangers on the street by smiling, give love to your teachers by respecting and give love to your parents simply by loving. (:

As Samuel Butler once said, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.”

So dare to love though it’s painful, because only by daring to try and love can you get love back in return. (:

A very simple definition of love that I found rather cute is by the cookie monster. “Sometimes me think what is love, and then me think love is what last cookie is for. Me give up the last cookie for you.”

Can I borrow $25?

choutofu — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:24:14 +0000

This is a story that is pretty common, it’s spread around the internet, I received it in the mail a couple of times myself. But to those who haven’t read this story yet, I believe this story is worth sharing so here goes…

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had some money and started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

Its a simple story really, the moral of it is even simpler then the story itself. Alot of times, we work so hard that we forgot what we are working for. Its so easy to immerse yourself in work and tell yourself that you go to work to earn money, as a means of livelihood. But think about the real reason why you work. Very often, you work hard to support your family, your children, your pets and even if you’re single, you work hard to repay your parents for all they have given you.

So your working really hard for them, but is it really worth it to work so hard for them when in the process you forget about them? Materialistic needs are stuff that changes with time, like fashion that changes with each season, such needs are never permanent. I could want an Ipod today and a Playstation tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if you fufil all of your childrens materialistic wants, but it’s very important that you learn how to fufil their needs. They need you to be there for them on their graduation day, on their first day of school, on their parent-teacher rapport station and they need you to be there for dinner every single day to listen to what happened to them in school.

Sometimes its not all about giving, its also a little about taking. You should be a little selfish sometimes, selfish enough to let go of the additional money you might earn for working an extra hour. Use that hour to spend it with your children and it makes a huge difference to them.

Think about it. How much does your hour cost? $50? Think about it again. How much are you missing in your child’s/parent’s/partner’s/pet’s life by coming back an hour late?

$50/$60/$70/$100 in exchange for an hour to let your children know how much you love them by listening to them.

Suddenly, that amount of money doesn’t quite add up to what your missing now does it?

If I gave you 5 seconds…

choutofu — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 13:42:16 +0000

I realise it’s superrrrr boring to have like one colour which is solid black for the posting so I’m going to try my very best to add some life and some colours inside.

Anyway, my mummy was reading my previous entry where I mentioned about a father who had to sacrifice his child for others. But she was totally going gaga over what I was saying so I realised that maybe some people haven’t heard the story before. Hence, this entry. I know the title “If I gave you 5 seconds” is seriously a horrible title but I’ve racked my brains for a thousand eons and thats the best I could come up with so thats that. Before I tell this story, I would like to ask you a question. If I told you that you had 5 seconds to decide if you wanted to save one person or a few hundred people, which would you choose? Remember how easy it is for you to answer me now and think about this again after reading my story. Now for the story.

This is a story about a father, Mr. James who was working as a train attendant and his 5 year old son. Mr. James’s wife had recently passed away, leaving him the sole caretaker of his 5 year old son. As they were a poor family, he couldn’t afford one of those fancy baby-sitters and had to bring his child to work with him. Now the train track had a track which had been closed for a very long time and so he set his child on that track and asked him to play with his toys there while he went about doing his work.

All went well and things went smoothly throughout the day. Then suddenly, a train was approaching at high speed into the train station. However, the train driver didn’t seem to be aware that the track that he was on was under repairs and that he should have switched to the other usable track. So the train driver drove on, full of confidence that he was to bring all his passengers to their destination safely. And there was the train attendant, fear etched deep into his face as he watched this train approach doom. Yet, there was one way to save this train full of people. Would you do it?

The way to save the train filled with hundreds of people was to switch the trains’ path. But that path was the abandoned path that his 5 year old son, the only living relative he had left, was playing on. There was no time for him to grab his son and switch the trains’ path. He only had less than 5 seconds to decide. 5 seconds to decide if he’s son lived, or those hundreds of people lived. Could you have made that decision?

The train attendant made the decision. He switched the tracks and watched as the train rolled over his son, his nearest and dearest, his only hope and light in the darkness of his world. As the train passed by, a lady in the train looked at Mr. James face, filled with anguish, filled with pain and she cried. Even though she couldn’t possibly have known what he just did, she had felt his pain. Such was the power of his grief and such was the extent of his pain.

A few years later, that same woman came back to the train station, carrying a child in her hands. She had recognised the grief on his face, the grief of losing a child. As she was riding on that train that fateful day, she had lost her only child in a miscarraige. So she saw a kindred spirit and it gave her the strength to carry on. And now she brought her child back to give the same strength back to Mr. James.

So now I would like to ask you once again. If I gave you 5 seconds to decide if you would choose to save one person or a few hundred people, would that decision come as easily to you as it did before? How many of you would choose to save your child? How many of you would choose to save those people who would never know of your sacrifice? How many of you thought of how stupid it was for that man to place his child on a long abandoned track? How many of you judged that man and called him heartless based on the decision that he made?

Sometimes it’s really easy for us to judge people’s decisions based on the surface of words. But how many of you know the anguish and the pain behind that person’s decisions? And how many of you can actually judge other people for the decisions they made? So before you judge people, before you think it’s that easy for them to come to a decision, think about what they’ve gone through. And never judge a person based on the decisions they make, but by the process through which they made them.